Big City. Big Drama.

Hit From Behind!!!

2005-06-22T16:52:00.000-05:00

Like Marissa, I didn't even know I was playing! Favorite Song Tag...that is. I definitely didn't see this one coming, but Marissa tagged me and I am def. game...

Here it is (and keep in mind I work in music, so these songs can change at any minute- I am fickle like that) :

1. The Backstreet Boys "Crawling Back" (I know, I know...but Backstreet's Back, Alright! Deal with it...)

2. Chris Brown "Run It" (new Jive artist...keep a look-out)

3. Mariah Carey "We Belong Together" - the remix featuring Jadakiss and Styles P.

4. Gwen Stefani "Cool"

5. Keyshia Cole "(I Just Want It) To Be Over"

6. Foo Fighters "Best of You"

To Marissa- I sense this was a cheap ploy to get me writing again...I like your tactics!!!

I tag Jarrad!

Psychic Tendencies...

2005-05-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

There is a psychic among us. Her name is Rachel (a.k.a. Lusty Lady). She writes a column for the Village Voice...and somehow knows all about my dating life. And no, it is not because I emailed her to tell her.

A friend sent me a recent article she wrote titled "Is This A Date?". I am currently scared - evidently this girl has been researching me. Either that or Mixed Messages M called her and told her about how crazy it made me to date him! Read on...even if you have never had experiences like this...you might in the future. And if not, it's still good for a laugh (or a major feeling of pity)!

"Is This A Date?"

Wedding Season

2005-05-11T18:49:00.000-05:00

So I know I always have a lot of relationship questions but this is a new one...Is going to a wedding with your bf/gf a blessing or a curse? The reason why this topic has come to mind lately is a lot of my friends are getting engaged/married - therefore, I have attended and will attend several weddings. In the aftermath of each such occasion, at least one couple that attended the wedding together either went down in flames (not literally) or flourished (i.e. an engagement of their own). Call it a simple coincidence if you want, but I believe there is a little something more to this equation.

Normally I would leave it to the women to become emotional wrecks at or after weddings but surprisingly weddings DO seem to wreak havoc on some men's psyche. What is it about weddings that makes people either want to relive Romeo & Juliet (minus the suicide) or actually act out the final scene (minus the romance)? The funniest part about this whole issue is that the person doing the breaking up never references the wedding as a point of breakdown...it is always "I just can't do this anymore" or "I feel too much pressure" or "The timing is off". Um...hello? Does anyone think their significant other is stupid? When your relationship has never been better and you just happened to have returned from a wedding could there be any other cause for the break-up?

On the other hand, several couples get engaged soon after attending the joyous occasion of a wedding. I guess spending 4+ hours viewing an extreme display of love, the Horah, and the happiness of the couples' parents, is enough to make 2 people go sprinting to the Diamond District...forget about the 10 shots you took from the ice luge during the cocktail hour...

My advice: choose carefully when inviting a date to a wedding...you might get more then you bargained for!

Call it what you want, but I call it a conspiracy!

The Summer of Single

2005-04-28T18:21:00.000-05:00

It's almost about that time of year...SUMMER...

There are a few things that automatically come to my mind when I think about summer:

1. Summer Camp. Remember those days? We had not a care in the world, no responsibilities- our main job was to hang out, do arts & crafts, play some sports, and master the back stroke. Fun times...

2. Fireworks with my family on the 4th of July. Gathering up some blankets, driving to the local community college and staring at the sky for 2 hours.

3. Family vacation in August going to visit my Grandpa in Las Vegas (nothin' better then Vegas in August) - I will miss those days greatly.

4. Summer training camp for softball. So NOT cool...on to the next...

5. Open house parties in someones (usually a friend of a friend of a friend of a cousin's sisters) backyard! Nothin' better than hanging around a keg wearing a wife beater.

6. Listening to my guy friends talk about how the last thing they want is a girlfriend. Ok yeah, now we are back to present time...

What is this new phenomenon?? I first heard about this a few years ago from my friend J. I believed it to be an urban myth and refused to believe guys actually thought about things like this! I know, wishful thinking...Since then, at least 4 more guys friends/acquaintances have brought this up- I have nothing but to believe it's the truth!

Here is how it goes...During the winter, it's cold and it snows (deep...I know). No one wants to go out for fear of frostbite. Girls wear sweaters, thermals, and UGGS (according to guys, there is nothing less attractive then UGGS- not even 5 layers of clothing). Everyone wants to stay home, be warm, and cuddle- hence, you want a "significant other" during this time period.

Once the ground begins to thaw out, clothing layers are removed. UGGS are replaced by sandals, sweaters are replaced by tank tops, jeans are replaced by mini-skirts. Something about the fresh warm air riling up hormones or something...Nevertheless, relationships are ended. According to some guys I know, "who wants to be tied down when I can go out every night after work, drink a few beers, stare at girls wearing extremely short skirts- then do it all over again the next night".

Please someone comment on this - tell me it can't possibly be true! Tell me every girl I know that got dumped in the last month is not sitting at home depressed because she has flip-flops on her feet and not UGGS...Come to think about it- maybe it's all about the UGGS...

Some Girls Are CRAZY!!!

2005-04-26T18:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I decided to take some time to figure out how I wanted my next entry to go...today it came to me. Not really because something amazing happened or I was having an extra creative day, but because I got mad. Yup, evidently when I said I wanted to figure out my next plan of attack, I meant that the word "attack" in a very literal manner.

I'm pissed, and it's mainly coming from a protective stance. Now I am going to try really hard not to make this entry as exploitative as it could possibly be, but it's going to be hard. Mainly it's about a girl- or a few girls in particular.

Recently, my cousin was dating a girl (who shall remain nameless). After a few dates, he decided she wasn't the girl for him so he let her down- quite nicely I might add. Now I will personally say, if a guy let me down as nicely as he let her down, I'd probably be hurt, but thankful that he wasn't as big of a d**k as many guys these days can be. Evidently, this girl and/or her friends, took particular offense to the fact that he didn't like her and within the last few days he's received nasty txt msgs, nasty comments on his blog- all from this girls friends.

Listen, I 100% understand that girls can be crazy- after all, I am one. But this is out of control- and to be honest, it is girls like this that give the entire female population a bad name. It is girls like this that cause guys to use the words "psycho" and "girl" in the same sentence. I used to believe that guys were obnoxious and hurtful for calling girls "crazy" and "psycho" but now I see why...b/c sometimes THEY give them reasons to!

If the girls in mention happen to have stumbled onto or STALKED down this blog- hear me out- please get help...because in reality, you are ruining it for the rest of us.

I'm Back...Well, Sort Of...

2005-04-25T19:19:00.000-05:00

I know, it's been awhile...and to be honest, I'm a bit rusty. As much as I would like to explain my absence, I am going to plead the fifth - mainly to ensure I do not offend anyone else. While I take the next few days to get my act together and figure out my next plan of attack (or blog entry...whichever happens first), please click through to read a great and particularly meaningful post for me...via my Cousin J's blog...Aristocracity. The exact post I have in mind is entitled "Self Inflicted Censorship". Enjoy!

Oh, and PS: In reference to the above title- I've decided, like it or not, I'm DEFINITELY back...

Age=25, Maturity=0

2005-03-11T11:55:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to see the new Broadway play "All Shook Up" with 7 of my friends. The group included both my roomies, my 6’8 friend D., R., K., and D.W. and his roommate. Now the age range of this group was 24-28 but I will say the maturity level for the evening was extremely low. Roommate T. and I could not stop laughing and chattering the entire time- D. even proclaimed during intermission that he was pretty sure we didn't need to comment after every song. During one extremely uncomfortable part of the show, we found ourselves in a giggling fest that just would not end. People around us were annoyed, but we could do nothing to stop ourselves from laughing. We then proclaimed “evidently we are not mature enough for the thhheaaterrr” (think thick English accent there).

After the show we all went for a late dinner at Tony's Di Napoli…this is where the immaturity hit a whole new level. We proceeded (after only one glass of wine I might add…this was not to be blamed on alcohol) to launch into a performance medley of 80’s tunes. Think the greatest hits of Debbie Gibson, Journey, Tiffany, Lisa Lisa, Bangles, Berlin, etc. This wasn’t a quiet performance- this was 8 people, singing at the top of their lungs for the entire restaurant to hear. At first K. was a bit embarrassed and kept asking us to please bring it down…after awhile she joined in because she realized it was hopeless- we could not be stopped. It got to a point where waiters and fellow customers were making requests. We stayed until after midnight, fulfilling song requests and just hanging out.

Immaturity, maybe- but a hell of a lot of fun.

Oh yeah, and the play was kind of cute- go see it.

4's A Crowd

2005-03-10T16:36:00.000-05:00

The majority of my junior high and high school years were spent being best friends with a group of 3 girls- S., B., and M. The 4 of us were inseparable…we did everything together. We were around for a lot of our ‘firsts’- first kisses, first driving lessons, first cars, first SAT classes, first proms, first college acceptances, etc. - you get the point. Basically when I think back to my years 12-21, I think about these girls. They were a part of my past and I thought would always be a part of my present and my future. I guess things change. Not always b/c you want them to, but just b/c it is uncontrollable.

I cannot pinpoint at which point things were different but somewhere along the lines during college…we all began to drift just the slightest bit- maybe unrecognizable then, but definitely something I can see now. At that time it didn’t seem like anything to become alarmed about. By graduation things were a bit different- everyone had their college friends and it almost seemed like high school friends were a close 2nd to them, except for me. I thought when we all moved back to NYC (like we had always dreamed about when we were younger) things would be back to normal. They weren’t.

B. and I ended up having a few minor arguments and that friendship was officially gone. Hurtful, but at the time, I had a whole group of new friends (including two new roommates that I loved), and didn’t really seemed fazed by this loss of friendship- something I am extremely ashamed of to this day. Everyday I regret the carefree manner in which I dismissed one of my best friends and confidants. I am not 100% to blame but definitely had a legit part in it.

A few months ago, S. got engaged. Another something we had always talked and dreamed about when we were younger- being bridesmaids for each other…who would be the maid of honor- it was always a joking argument. Well, I am not a maid of honor, nor am I a bridesmaid. B. & M. both are. I guess I didn’t really EXPECT to be one but nevertheless I found myself (and still do find myself) a bit devastated. The thought of sitting in a seat while S. exchanges her vows without me by her side is a little unbearable. How did this happen?

Last week I found out via M. that B.’s grandfather had passed away. I immediately felt a confusing pang of hurt deep in my chest and decided to go out on a limb and write a brief email to her about how sorry I was to hear- not expecting so much of even a “Thank you” in return. She wrote back. Nothing major but something that stunned me when I turned my computer on the next day. I now sit here torn on whether or not to make an attempt at gaining this valuable friendship back. I feel like I’ve been here before, just a few years ago, and was rejected by her. In reality, is there anything I can really say to change things that took place 3 years ago? I’m stumped, and a little scared…but in a way, I see a small opening and I think I’m going to have to take my chances. In the end there is nothing like a real BEST friend…through this, I’ve learned not to take them for granted.

Lazy Days in the Sun

2005-03-09T20:23:00.000-05:00

Nothing like 3 days of lying on my butt doing NOTHING in the 80 degree sunny weather of Florida…actually, that previous sentence isn’t entirely accurate- I spent 3 days lying on my butt working on my tan, reading fashion magazines, and listening to my IPOD ( I really do have excellent taste in music). My Florida trip was exactly what the doctor ordered- last week I found myself at a peak level of frustration in my life (more about that later) and really needed to escape. Fellow escapees included my cousins, J.B. and his dad. The men spent the majority of the day golfing while I hung out at the pool. Everyone kept calling me saying “aren’t you bored yet?”…the answer every time- “NO!” I never got bored…when I was tired of reading magazines, I listened to music, when I was tired of listening to music, I read magazines, when I was tired of both, I slept (hence the sunburn under my armpit- why on earth did I fall asleep w my arm over my head?).

Saturday night, Cousin and I ventured out to downtown Las Olas to meet an old friend of his for dinner. After dinner, we met up with a bunch of other friends for some fun at Automatic Slims…I was the designated driver…It was a long night. During the drive home from this long night out, an alarming conversation took place. J.B. informed me that S., one of the friends we were out with had told him during the night how beautiful she thought I was and how much she liked my style, going on and on about my outfit, my bag, my looks. This isn’t the alarming part of the story. The alarming part occurred after he finished telling me all of her compliments and I said “Huh? Really?” Now I should preface this with the fact that I never did take a compliment well…but I personally feel like this was an all-time low. It even shocked Cousin, who told me today again he was still shocked I didn’t already know all of these things…I didn’t. Or maybe I did and I had just forgotten.

I don’t know why this story is still on my mind, but it is. Why does it take hearing what someone else thinks about me to convince myself of anything or to make me feel good about myself? I am still trying to figure this one out. Nevertheless, the Florida trip was a big success. We arrived back in balmy 40 degree NYC very late Monday night, rejuvenated, relaxed, and happy. Happy being the key word.

Relationships in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Actually Are…

2005-03-04T12:52:00.000-05:00

I know I am not the first person to feel this way. It’s funny…you end a relationship b/c you no longer want to be with the person (or there are “extenuating circumstances”- whatever that means) but does it mean you are not supposed to think about them anymore? I’ve begun to realize that every time I am single, I always find myself thinking about my last REAL relationship. All of a sudden that relationship seems like it’s surrounded by happy feelings, flowers, hugging, sweet sentiments and I drive myself crazy thinking it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am surrounded by a feeling of ‘maybe he was the one’, or why did we REALLY break up anyway? It cracks me up that whenever I am in need of some love I can’t seem to remember the bad parts of my last relationship and the best part is, it’s not even like it only ended weeks ago - It’s been 10 months- so why am I still thinking about him?

My break-up with R. was very upsetting and a bit surprising but not only just to me- I remember telling people and seeing the looks of shock on their faces. I just kept thinking how can someone I share so much with and I work so well with be ending this? Isn’t that the common statement of anyone being broken up with? There are parts of me that genuinely miss R. in my life but it’s ironic that those parts only seem to become highly emotional when my latest crush (i.e. the recent 23 year-old) is over.

I am sure when my friends and family read this post they will be a bit annoyed, partially because lately R. has been a complete and total asshole to me (and behind my back). Either way, it’s the truth, I miss the feeling of happiness that that relationship brought me. Maybe the new title of this posting should be “Relationships in the Rear View Mirror May Appear BETTER Than They Actually Were…”

Maybe He’s Just Really Busy?

2005-03-03T18:44:00.000-05:00

OK, we all have those friends that use this excuse when you are complaining to them…and the usual complaint being: “Whyyyyy hasn’t he called/emailed/text messaged/smoke signaled/telegraphed???”. And yes, even I’m guilty of it from time to time- but does anyone really believe that “he” is too busy to even compose a 1 line email or a 2 word text message? If I sound bitter- like I’m taking a page from that lovely piece of FICTION “He’s Just Not That Into You”, I’m not. I despise that book and I personally believe it’s responsible for several of my friends’ recent mental breakdowns. I just happen to not really believe this is a valid excuse.

Case in point- my recent situation with M. (Mr. I just graduated from college but am really mature because I own my own apartment and have a really important job). As stated before, I am 25, almost 26 but I agreed to date this 23 year-old because he really did seem mature AND asked me out on weekend dates- something not very common among 25 year-old guys these days who would rather spend their weekends with their buddies drinking beer and trying to pick up random chicks. Anyway, I was wrong about M.’s maturity level and after 3 dates I had that all figured out. A typical week would usually go like this: M. would email me 1 sentence (maybe he was too busy to write more??) on Wednesday and then on Thursday I would get another email, 1 sentence again- something along the lines of “Not sure of my plans for the weekend…what about you?”. Of course I would overanalyze with my friends (b/c we are girls and that’s just what we do) and think “does this mean he wants to hang out, if so, why didn’t he just ask, maybe he’s intimidated”. “Maybe he’s intimidated”…another common excuse almost as good as “Maybe he’s just really busy”.

To make a long story short, M. is history simply because I got tired of putting up with anyone who is just TOO busy to put more of an effort in after 3 dates. After awhile the whole busy excuse wears thin...My moral of the story- if someone REALLY likes you, they are never too busy. That's just another old wives tale…

Hi, I'm new...

2005-03-02T19:02:00.000-05:00

If only I were in Elementary school again saying that...would be a lot easier. The older you get, the more judgement you receive. I'm willing to risk it. My cousin, J.B., inspired me with his own blog. At first I thought it was just a phase, but 5 months later, he is still posting like crazy. His honesty, passion, and candidness impressed me, so I figured I'd give it a shot. In reality, what do I have to lose?

I'm 25 years-old (quickly approaching 26), female, and a born and bred New Yorker. I live in Murray Hill with two roommates/best friends (I luv them - they are just a crazy as I am)- together, we are quite a crew. I work in the music industry, love it, can't complain. While most people are stressing all day at their desk crunching numbers, I am trying my best to handle over-zealous rock stars, rappers, managers, etc. Thus a day in my life. I went to school for something totally un-related to music...an extremely intense major involving sports and medicine (put 2 and 2 together there). Don't even ask how I ended up where I did...if you do, settle in for a very long story. I am a highly emotional person with a great heart. My life is a little crazy, filled with a ton of drama, but I love it. If I ever try to complain, sit back and listen...then remind me that the glass is always half full. Welcome to my crazy world...Big City. Big Drama.